Lost in Chat Translation

My husband is working in Nigeria for the next few weeks so we don't get to talk on the phone very much.  However, we do get to chat online quite often.  Sometimes our conversations are quite serious.  Other times, he may be having a bad day or is bored, so smart ass me tries to make a funny.  Occasionally things get lost in translation in the IM world.  The following is a great example.

My husband is extremely smart and has gift for math, so I thought it would be fun to give him a math joke.  I read this on the internet a few weeks ago and found it quite humorous, and thought he could appreciate it .  Besides, there aren't many people you can just walk up to and say, "Hey wanna hear a really funny sex/math joke?"

The following is the actual Facebook chat conversation.  I didn't edit it or delete anything, it's just too funny the way it is.  I love my husband dearly, and am so grateful that he is so smart and has a great sense of humor so he can appreciate this silly moment between us as much I do.

[You]
5:05pm
guess what...
i just figured out that the root of 69 is 8 something...get it...8-ate something lol.

[Kelly Redden]
5:06pm
are you sure the root of 69 is 8
sure 8 squared isn't 64

[You]
5:07pm
its a joke honey and you're not getting it

[Kelly Redden]
5:07pm
or am i missing something and being geeky

[You]
5:07pm
the root of 69 is 8.3blahblahblah hence 8 something
what do you do in a 69 sex position...you ATE something

[Kelly Redden]
5:08pm
ah, ok, now i get it

[You]
5:08pm
i can't believe i had to just explain this too you.
you know there is a good chance I'm gonna have to post this on facebook :)

And post it I did!!  I love you honey and can't wait for you to get home!

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog!

For quite some time now, people have been begging me to start one of these damn things.  Apparently, they think I have something witty and insightful to say.  Sadly, many will be disappointed.  I'm usually only good for a Facebook update line of two, maybe three sentences tops, and most of those insights are found after a bottle of wine and hours on StumbleUpon.com.  There is a reason I'm a science major, not an English teacher. I’ve never really enjoyed writing, and am paranoid of what others will think of my horrendous spelling and grammar. Oh well. I’m armed with spell check and a thesaurus so we'll see how this goes.

Personally, I've always been against blogs.  Don't get me wrong, I'm a total cyber-stalker. I'll spend hours cruising Facebook and MySpace peeking into the lives of those I know, or knew umpteen years ago.  I find some sick satisfaction of looking at the pictures and stories of those who time and genetics has not been so kind to. I know, it’s not nice, but for five minutes of my boring day, I feel a little bit better about myself because someone is now bald or fat or their kids look like a bulldog. And I know I’m not alone in the voyeuristic pleasures that social networking allows.  I’ve seen a lot of you get your accounts hacked by clicking the link for those “Look who’s looking at your profile!!” links lol.

My biggest complaint about blogs is that they tend to be a license for graphic post that scream TMI or idiotic rants that fulfill some persons sense of entitlement. I’m really sorry you didn’t get that super duper spy action figure with kung-fu grip for sixth birthday, but don’t bash your parents for your dumb mistakes, you are an adult now. Or my personal fave, the way too graphic for television sex life of the cougar sect and their graphic descriptions of all that sags and wags. Talk about the things that make you go eww <shudders with disgust>. My favorite blogs are those that are real.  I enjoy hearing about people’s lives as they actually happen; what the kiddos are doing, the big accomplishments in their lives, and that they find really important. People who take the time to think about what they are saying, and say it in a truthful manner tend stick with me way after the rants and raves of stupidity. 

 
So that is my goal with this blog.  Most of the time, I’ll have some fun or silly story to share.  They’ll usually be some dumb thing I’ve done, or some random thought.  Other times, I may have a serious moment to ponder.  But all the times, I will try to keep it real and write who I am. No filters, no fluff, and no descriptions of saggy balls.  Ok, so I can’t promise the saggy ball thing cause I know Murphy’s Law is just around the corner to provide me with the fodder for some story that stars some dude’s (or lady’s given the bars I tend to hang out in) love spuds.  But we’ll save those stories for another day!

Well, that’s about it for my first post.  Thanks for tuning in to read this and hopefully I’ll have something fun and exciting to share in the next post.  Before I go, I’ll leave you with this little gem from Jack Handy.  Thanks again and have a great day!!

“I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.”- Jack Handy